2006-03-29 - 12:45 p.m.

Top 10 rejected Positions for the Kama Sutra:

10:
Jousting:
The girl lays at the end of the bedon her back, legs up and spread. The guy goes all the way into the vagina, back out, then all the way into the asshole, back out, lather, rinse, repeat.

9:
Crabwalking:
The girl lays flat on her stomach with her legs spread, the guy mounts her from behind. (this sounds normal but, try it, it's actually very funny looking)

8:
Oriental Teabag:
The girl sits on the ground, leans back on her elbows, cocks her head way back, opens her mouth wide. The guy stands over her, lifts up his dick, and starts doing squat thrusts dipping his nuts into her mouth.

7:
Swizzle Stick:
This act was the first one to be rejected and common decency laws do not allow me to tell you what it was but, I can say this--it envolves a weed-whacker, three rubber chickens and seventeen canisters of ready whip whipped cream.

6:
No Fail Snail Trail:
The guy climbs up ontop of something tall, like a dresser, grabs his member like a samurai sword, does a ninja flip off of the top of the dresser, or other tall object, screaming out a samurai yell, and smacks her on the forehead with it, his tool not the dresser/other tall object.

5:
The Incinerator:
You fuck until you both catch on fire (also known as Hotboxing).

4:
Shotputting:
The girl lays flat on her back, the guy stratles above her on his knees and jerks off all over her like he was looking at porno mag.

3:
Gas Pump:
The girl lays on the edge of the bed and the guy "fills her up" by putting his dick into her pleasure hole and just grinding up and down (NO in and out).

2:
Oil Change:
Same as the gas pump only using the other hole.

1:
Merry Go Round:
The guy lays on his back, the girl sits on his organ, the guy spins the girl around in circles while singing carnival music (Doo Doo Dudda Dudda Duh Duh Dah Dah)

previous - next